YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/THE MOST OFTEN ASKED QUESTION: HOW COULD I CLIMAX SOONER?
“It takes me forever to climax. I get close, then fade away. Get close again, then fade away. After a few times of that, then I don’t get close. I just fade away. How could I climax sooner so my poor husband doesn’t have to work so hard and hold back so long?
ANSWER: Probably the worst word in the sexual vocabulary is “climax.” It has become at the same time a goal, a purpose, and an end of sexual activity. A super marital sex rule is that the journey should be as important as or more important than the destination. Learning to focus on what is happening instead of where it is leading you will help. The physiological reflex or orgasm, like any human response, always involves an ebbing and flowing of sensation, of getting close, then not so close, then close again. What you report is perfectly natural. That’s the way all body processes operate, and sex is no different. Learning to enjoy the fading will also help, because there is no need to follow a “one way only” sexual system. If you want to experience an earlier orgasmic reflex as part of, but not the goal of, the sexual interaction, there are a few things to remember. First, learn about your sensitive areas, the Ñ and G areas. Learn what type, speed, intensity of stimulation you like and teach it to your partner. Some people report a “withdrawal from the edge” response when they get close to pelvic contraction. Practicing alone to go over that edge can help, but most important, psychasms can help take you over. Remember your capacity for both types of response and pressure will reduce. Pushing yourself when at the edge only causes more withdrawal. Letting the edge draw you over, letting the psychasm carry you over, can also be learned.
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